Only Fools and Ponytas
by Mahboisdinner
Summary: Ash and his pals are in the new region of "England" when they come across a legend dating from the twelveth centuary. All want to meet this legend and weld him, but they will be very disapointed. Crossover with Soul Eater, Pokemon, Hetalia and other fandoms.
1. The Fool's begining

**Hello, not sure if one has been done but I'm doing a Soul Eater and Pokèmon crossover. It includes a healthy portion of Excalibur, Hetalia references and other super cool stuff. **

**Chapter 1: The Fools' beginning**

Those mountains had few visitors. That legend that supposedly dwelt within these mountain top caves had fewer still. Ever since a few months back when he had been returned by that young blonde, the legend himself had no visitors. But that was to change with the arrival of the three fools.

"I told you; you do not want to cross HIM of all living creatures!" a frightened yell that echoed across the deserted hallways, "Look, if you want to go look for him, fine with me! Just don't drag me into it!"

The tall, dark pink haired woman, Jessie, shook the young, nervous teenager by the cuff of his shirt.

"Spare me the theatrics," She sighed as her two accomplices went through the boy's bag. "Tell me where this "Excalibur" is. Wasn't it you who caused that uproar at your school with that sword?"

Hiro avoided eye contact, mumbling "…yeah… damn germ infested…"  
"I HAVE IT JESSIE!" a yell from the man with a book found from Hiro's bag.

Jessie face grew with a grin; reaching out for what her partner James had found and let her grip of Hiro. It was the book, "Excalibur" by Excalibur. Hiro's face turned a pale green and his face turned the well known one of annoyance. Jessie and her team opened the book whilst Hiro, not realising a chance to escape, began to lament loudly of why he ever set sight upon the book.

"Hmmm…I see" read the cat like creature with a strange, New York like accent. "I be guessing that the boss would wanna see this!"

"My sentiments exactly, Meowth," murmured blue haired James as he feasted his eyes onto the pages of the legendary book, "We better take it now, before any twerp like fools decide to intervene."

Jessie immediately nodded and placed the clean, cream white book into her bag. Brushing off invisible dust of her Team Rocket uniform, she stood up.

"Agreed, this time," Jessie said, giving her comrades all a smile and a pat on the back, "We got tickets to get a promotion."


	2. The Pub Hub

**Please review, I'd like to get better at writing J**

**Chapter 2: The Pub Hub**

Ash loved food, for the most part. Whilst the food of Brock, Cilan or his mom would have been his first choice, he would have made done with any other food. But this time was an exception.

On his plate was a hunk of some stale kind of meat, covered with very thick gravy. Along side it was very watery vegetables and rock hard potatoes. For some strange unknown reason, the food had a visible negative aura Needless to say that Ash was not looking forward to the "cuisine" of this new region of "England"

For Misty, she had been somewhat lucky as her dish of fish and chips smelt much more satisfying and fresh than this… dish he was having. Despite that, Misty didn't look too thrilled with this.

Brock was the only one not eating. Travelling upon stormy seas in rainy weather did him no good and they had just arrived by boat. That and also the fact that he just gotten poison jabbed by you know who after trying to chat up some ladies…

"Are you enjoying your meal then?" asked the blonde haired with large eyebrows proprietor of the delightful pub as he came over with the drinks. Propping the non hazardous drinks on the trio's table, he sat down on a nearby stool and said, "Since it's your first visit to this lovely region of England, I though I might show you around this town when your done and introduce you to the local Pokémon professor."

Ash attempted to look interested as he pushed the food into a bin, away from the owner's eyes. Smiling, Ash took a slurp of his lemonade.

"Wow, that's really nice of you." Ash said, putting down his glass, and shaking hands with the owner. "I'm Ash of Pallet Town in Kanto, and these are my friends Misty of Cerulean City and Brock of Pewter Town."

"Arthur, Arthur Kirkland." Arthur said in his finest British accent. Seeing their table free of plates, he said "Oh, you're all done already?"


	3. Rocket Start

**Chapter 3: Rocket Start**

Meanwhile at the Team Rocket headquarters…

"Sir, that infamous trio have come back and are demanding to see you."

The head of Team Rocket, Giovanni sighed. Somehow, he always sensed disaster when those three were around. Grudgingly, he gave the order to the Grunt to let them in.

"What do you have for me this time?" ask Giovanni as he stroked his Persian who glared at the terrified Meowth, "Another hair brained scheme of yours?"

"No, sir. Uh…please, read this book. It has information that may hold your interest." Jessie said, with fear shaking her voice.

James held out the white book and handed it to a nearby Rocket Grunt who clumsily passed it onto the Boss. He read a couple of pages for a few minutes, showing no form of emotion. It was quite clear that the boss had no intention of removing his poker face. During this period, James, Jessie and Meowth shared looks of uncertainty between them. They had no idea what was in store for them.

"Well this is quite remarkable." Said Giovanni after a while. Relief passed through the trio's bodies. Giving the Excalibur book back to the trio, he began to explain his plan of action.

"This Excalibur sword dwells within the England Region, up North." Said the Team Rocket Boss as he stood up to stretch his legs. "I want that sword. It has a good reputation." Then smirk crossed his face. "Even Legendary Pokèmon will bow to it."

"So get me that legendary sword, Excalibur."


	4. On Like Liz and Patty

**Chapter 4: On like Liz and Patty**

After everyone's favourite Team Rocket Trio left to go on their mission and Giovanni went for lunch with his executives, the single Rocket Grunt was left alone.

The Rocket Grunt, making sure that no one was around, cleared her throat and searched around in her pocket until she found her phone. She hummed a random tune as she began to type a number into the phone. It wasn't ringing for long until someone picked it up.

"Hello… Oh it's you." Said a young mans' voice.

"Yeah, yeah." Said the Team Rocket Grunt. She started to play with her dark blue hair. From the strands of short, blonde hair underneath, it was likely that it was a wig. "So Kid, I found out their plans!"

Kid sighed, wanting to know more "Yes, but could you tell me them."

The girl frowned. Death the Kid often did this.

"Okay, fine. They want that sword, Excalibur. Y'know, that one you went to find with Black Star, it looks like an alien and then Hiro…"  
"I KNOW WHAT HE LOOKS LIKE PATTY!" shrieked Death the Kid from down the line,

"I cannot believe that he dares cross my path again! Here I was, assuming that Team Rocket was dealing with eating good souls. How wrong I was!"

Patty rolled her eyes, he was being dramatic again. Not unusual at all to be honest. "Right… what are you going to do about it?"

From her end of the line, she could hear Death the Kid stand up from a chair, and she could only assume that he was punching the air with supposed glory or justice or something…

"Well, I am going to get Liz and we're going to shoot that bastard to pieces. Then we're going to shoot anyone who tries to stop us!"

Patty giggled in her normal fashion and attempted to clap her hands whilst holding the phone.

"Yay, I like shooting people! So can we do it now?"

"Yes. Get out of there and get back to Death City immediately."

"YES SIR!"

With that, the call ended. Taking off her wig, and Team Rocket hat, Patty put on her standard cowboy hat and began to take off the uniform to reveal that she was wearing her normal outfit of black boots, red halter top, white tie, black shorts with a grey belt and a white half jacket underneath it. How she managed it is unknown.

Patty looked around the dim light conference room. Supposedly she was supposed to do some paper work for the boss but y'know, Patty couldn't be bothered to do all that writing! It didn't appear to cross Patty's mind that this could arise suspicion in Team Rocket, or even lead to Shibusen's undercover work in mafia gangs in Japan being undermined. Well, it didn't appear to until Patty threw a Pokéball out to reveal a Ditto.

As if it had been rehearsed, the Ditto transformed into Patty's Team Rocket Grunt form. Patty grinned, watching a near double of her getting down to the paperwork. It was so much fun making people… or Pokèmon in her case, doing stuff she didn't like to do. Since that was done, she climbed out a near window to make her escape. And with that, Patty Thompson was gone.


	5. Of Brothers and Beans

**A/N Arthur's siblings are my own OCs, because Himaruya hasn't made any characters for the republic of Ireland and the rest of the UK yet. **

**Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon, Hetalia, or anything else that I have referenced. All I own is the original story and my Ocs.**

**Chapter 5: Of Brothers and Beans.**

"WHAT ARE YE DOING HERE, YA LITTLE…."  
Ash, Brock and Misty sweat dropped as they watched the local Pokèmon Professor yell at Arthur, the pub owner. The Pokèmon Professor was very tall, taller than Arthur. He had ginger hair, thick eyebrows like Arthur's and a very prominent Scottish accent. In fact, the resemblance was quite remarkable.

"I SAID I WAS SORRY ABOUT THAT ALREADY!" yelled a frightened Arthur, backing away, "I only wanted to show these Japanese trainers around town!"  
The scary man then realised that he had company. Immediately, he smiled and pushed Arthur to the side.

"Oh Hello there." He said with a much more friendly tone. "I'm Professor Kirkland, brother to Arthur. Call me Lewis. Please excuse mah temper." He glared at Arthur "Unfortunately, my brother tends to bring out mah… uh… worst side."

Arthur cringed, and headed in over to the Professor's liquor cabinet, pouring himself a large concoction of various alcoholic beverages. The young trio sweat dropped and followed the two older men inside.

"So welcome to Tudor Town." Said Lewis Kirkland, pouring out some freshly brewed tea, "I am Lewis Kirkland, the unfortunate older brother of he who shall…"  
Arthur hit the red head in the face, cutting off his sentence.

"Oh you, Merida! So angry!"

Lewis growled softly under his breath, hating the insust. It wouldn't do to fight so openly with kids around.

"So, putting that aside," he continued on to the three, who were getting more nervous as time flew on, "I'm guessing that you're going to challenge the gyms around?"

Ash nodded "That's my plan." He said eagerly, "I want to be a Pokémon master so I'm challenging every gym there is!"

Brock stood up, a hand held right up high.

"AND I'M SEARCHING FOR MY SOUL MATE; THE WOMAN OF MY DREAMS! THE HOTTEST BABE…"

"MIIIISSTTTYYY CHOOOOOP!"

Brock lay on the floor with a large dent in the middle of his head. Misty stood over him with a mallet in hand and a terrifying look that radiated off her face. Ash stood quite some distance from his friend as Prof. Lewis looked on with Arthur, himself looking bemused and Arthur with fear sketched onto his face. Misty turned to them with a cute but scary look on her face.

"And I'm looking after these too whilst I attempted to take over the world!"

Prof. Lewis laughed, thinking it to be a witty joke. Arthur tried to unsuccessfully move out towards the door muttering that he had to go back to the pub, "Before Bean burns it down."

"So yeah, could you do us a favour and give us some advice about the area?" asked Ash nervously, looking back at his love interest who was kicking Brock.

Prof. Lewis nodded "Well firstly, avoid Sealand or a little boy called Peter. He's our youngest brother…"

"Sealand?" wondered Ash out loud, "What's that about?"

"Please don't tell me it's something like Joey." Groaned the now upright Brock. "That damn kid challenged me once and would not shut up about his Ratattas!

Arthur laughed nervously "Yes… he thinks he's a country and that our family are like the UK and our only sister as the Republic of Ireland. It's very funny but ignore him!"

Lewis's eyes flicked around the room. "Yeah, countries. Secondly, the sixteen gyms of the UK region are divided up into four in each region; the steel, poison, ground and fire gyms in England, the water, dragon, psychic and electric gyms in Wales, the flying, dark, grass, and bug gyms in Scotland, with the rock, fight, normal and ghost gyms of Northern Ireland."

"Right" said the three, taking the information in.

"Thirdly, we have a few siblings around these regions. I'm actually supposed to be working up in lovely Scotland right now." Sighed Lewis as Arthur smiled uneasily.

"But I've been stationed here as there was a mix up and now Dr. Who is up in Scotland whilst I'm here, stuck with him!"

"So your siblings?" asked Misty, getting a bit afraid herself as Ash wondered who was Dr. Who…

Lewis stopped his rant and continued on.

"Ah yes, well Evan's a gym leader in Wales. Dragon type, he is."

"Don't be fooled by his cheerful and ditzy personality" added Arthur, "He trains hard, exceptionally hard. He has a move; the Dragon's Leek. Evan developed it himself and taught it to his Pokémon. Basically, his dragon eats a leek and then it breathes upon the Pokémon and trainer to knock both of them out!"

"Sort of like Dragon breath with onions, or leeks?" murmured Brock, ever the TM moves expert

"Yes." Said Lewis," But he can be defeated and I know how… but I won't tell you."

Ash groaned and fell… anime style!

Lewis grinned and persisted his talk

"Then there are the twins."

"Big family you got there, Prof. Kirkland." Brock said, astonished. Was there even more to come?

"Isn't that a bit ignorant of you Brock?" laughed Ash "When have you last seen your family?"

This earned dear Ash a Brock Chop to the head.

"The Twins," continued the Professor, unaware of the violence behind him, "Both live in different parts of Ireland."

"Shane, the younger twin, is the fighting type gym leader up North. Not a very hard one, as long as you try to distract him."

"Distract him?"

"Yeah, get a cute cat or my friend Francis who incidentally comes from France and he'll either try hug the cat or run far away from Francis. If you don't, he'll concentrate and probably beat you. Shane's quite tough, despite his size"

"Uhh…."

"Maeve's a professor too, like me. She's the older twin and we don't hear from her often enough. Our Maeve works for the Republic of Ireland League. Tried to be a gym leader once and failed. She's a little bit strange, but I guess she is lovable in a weird way."

The Scottish brother of Arthur continued onto the subject of Pokémon and rambled on about the world of Pokémon and how stuff that our heroes had already heard a billion times from Prof. Oak and his super cool proferssor friends.

Ash decided to get it over with. He interrupted Lewis who was getting onto the topic of a local legend that the group should stay away from.

"So yeah, can we have some Pokémon, please?"

Lewis looked at the young boy, and said

"Don't you want to hear about this legend? I'd recommend that you do, because you don't want to…"

Ash rolled his eyes

"No, we wish to go outside and go on super fun adventure. We can find out about it later."

Despite Misty and Brock's objections, the three found themselves on route to this place called "Manchester", it sounded very exotic! Of course the Professor had some very odd Pokémon, including what he called a house elf, a unicorn and something called "Nessie". What was even odder was that they couldn't see them! So our heroes went off to Manchester to their first gym, with their old team of Pokémon and no knowledge of the local legend…

Oh yeah, and Arthur's pub burned down again, thanks to a man with a green car who went by the name "Mr Bean"…


End file.
